otaku me!

ho ho ho

i found my new anime obsession. this time... it's KURAGEHIME (aka 海月姫)!

woohoo! something seriously otaku but hilarious at the same time. not sure who will share my cup of tea but i'm hoping the story line gets better. it's disappointing sometimes when the story goes haywire or boring on me after a few episodes.

27th Birthday

Had a great time hanging out with friends prior to my actual birthday. :)

last but not the least, a group shot.

AFAX

Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

I spent (or rather, burnt) my weekend helping out at AFAX.

I don't mind having to work almost 12 hours each day, waking up before the sun is up and not being able to spend time with my husband BUT there were incidents that were undesirable and mostly irritating because of inconsiderate people.

However, I chose to retain the memories of only the good ones and soon, I'll forget about those unhappy moments.

I enjoyed meeting new people, working backstage, smiling and chatting earnestly with some of my fellow colleagues & the freelance production crews, seeing the artistes / famous cosplayers up-front, shaking the hands of Hironobu Kageyama of JAM Project, getting to listen to what Aniki has to say and hearing his earnest replies (which made me felt touched and teary for a very long time until I wanted to rush up and hug the old man), listening to JAM Project & Angela's concert & feel my adrenaline rush up to an ultimate high (saikou desu!), have Aniki grin at me (his mgr is very cute and his name is Ryohei), shaking hands & exchanging name cards with Danny Choo (actually this happened later in the office), Kaname-san giving me his printed cosplay card & wanting to give me a light stick during the concert, my playful elbow jabbing session with Angela + May'n's Japanese translator, Scandal's Japanese translator's surprised but kind compliment about my Japanese being good (when it sucked), getting to know first-hand that Kaname & Alodia are pretty humble and nice people, meeting my own friends there .... these memories are worth keeping.

So unhappy incidents aside, I've had rewarding moments and I guess it's enough.

 I had fun. :)

@ Carlton hotel

JAM PROJECT!

(sigh.. my hp sucks)

'She' who cannot be named.

hehehehehehehehehehe

Aniki anxiously waiting for his turn

KANAME, Me

(Cosplay character: Black Rock Shooter)

Stage

What's left of me.

rockouture

ROCKOUTURE
talented boy.
love his detailed fine lines and pastel colours.

midnight hunger pangs

worst feeling ever.

midnight hunger pangs.

the mental struggle against instant noodles.

workshops

pretty much sums it all up about what i felt.

Manga & Anime Exhibition

Made a trip to Japan Creative Centre located at Nassim Road with Mr Ho today.

There's the Manga & Anime Exhibition going on so I decided to pop by. We were supposed to go there with Sano last Sunday but it was closed. bleh.

From far, the place looked really nice. It's not inaccessible but it's away from the busy Orchard shopping areas and I felt comfortable there. Mr Ho stopped several times to stare outside as the wind blew and leaves shook. In case you're wondering since when Mr Ho so emo, I think he is just bored lol.

There were several boards explaining the history of manga which I found rather interesting to read.

Amusingly, I saw the project screen showing the video compilation my production assistant and I prepared.

Our channel, Animax, is partnering this event. :)

  

Nyanko sensei!!!!!!

(character from Natsume Yūjin-Chō)

Original artworks of Takahashi Macoto being displayed.

Great stuff. Dates really far back (~1984 and prior).

Mr Ho & I like this particular illustration.

It's very detailed and meticulously drawn. The hair, the eyes.. etc

The uneven curl is very natural, especially the fringe.

Mr Ho thought the Japanese handwritings on the left resembled mine heh.

I guess it does quite a fair bit. You can really see the western influence in the drawing style.

The tag reads as:

世界の少女　/　初春のパリの少女

I'm not sure how this reads exactly in English so here's a literal translation:

Lady of the world / Lady of Paris (in the beginning of Spring)

There were several illustrations by local artists (illustrators) but these two were my favourite.

These art works will be available on Fourskin t-shirts and on sale from Nov onwards.

Illustration on the left is inspired by Ge-ge-ge no Kitaro and the illustration on the right is an obvious influence by Nodame Cantabile.

Manga Magazines displayed.

I learnt something new today (cos I seldom buy these magazines).

Different magazines caters to different readers. They have something for the office men, another for girls who are into reading about happy marriage, another targetting women or house wifes about family stuff... some focuses on featuring works of new talents... some on strong storylines... it's really a mix bag of surprise!!

There's 2 TVs in the room showing anime snippets (about 3 mins over).

Notice the 'ANIMAX' logo on the top right corner? LOL yes. another compilation my production assistant and I rushed out. At least there's people watching lol make our 'hard work' worthwhile cos we rushed like mad to get this ready.

They gave me a free Japanese manga when I left the exhibition. :)

I grabbed ep 2 of 3X3 Eyes. A series which I collected in Mandarin. heh

This is something totally unrelated but I'm posting it cos it's damn cute.

Was at Ion buying food and while I ordered drinks from this new drink stall, my queue tag came in the form of this cute lemon-ko. Felt like dumping my drinks and stealing this instead hahahahaha

No. I didn't steal the tag. I took my drink instead.

Yum

cookies can be sexy too.

busted

yup. totally busted.

stupid me.
wanted to send a secret sms to sano telling him i wanna buy jacket for wilson...and ended up sending the msg to Mr Ho himself.

and Mr Ho checks sms in super sonic speed.
I called him the second i clicked 'send' and he told me checked his phone already.

but he's still happy anyway.

mastering japanese

I need to...... PRACTICES MY JAPANESE!!!! T_T
colleague of mine gonna give me a new PSP game to play *yay*
super nice graphics, deals with logic (to solve case with logic reasoning much like Kindaichi Jikenbo) BUT...the challenge is..... i have to read alot to 'analyse' and IT'S ALL IN JAPANESE!!!!!!!

brain pain.

but... GAMBARIMASU! i wanna play the game!! must.. must conquer it!!!

i can feel too

Not appearing affected doesn't mean I'm not.
Having what seems like a smile on my face doesn't mean I'm happy.
I know I'm affected when I repeat something said to me in the exact words over and over again in my mind.
I know I'm affected when I'm still thinking about it at the end of the day.
I know I'm affected when I find it difficult to just think about the person and what was said.
I know I'm affected when it might seem like a negligible little thing but I can't get it out of my head.

I know I'm affected... even if everyone else doesn't know. 

10.10.10

perfect ten.

you can see couples tying their knots in the various chalets they've rented. some serious decoration was going on and i must say, some was really nicely done up. sigh. i've wanted to have our ROM separate from the wedding dinner initially but due to budget and time constraints we've decided to have it in the hotel function room instead.

wonder when is the next possible excuse i can dig up to plan another party with romantic settings? hah!

it's really darn expensive to book the chalet without member discount.

should i organise another bbq this year?

Finding Mr.Right

A thought has lingered in my mind for the longest time but I guess I haven't really sat down to think it through yet.

With all the news coverage about Mrs Lee's passing and the numerous articles about her heartwarming relationship with her husband, one can't help but to feel touched.

There was one single scene I saw on TV that got stuck in my mind. A silent moment where Mrs Lee stood up to wipe MM Lee's forehead during an interview. Through little actions like this you can feel one's love for their partner. It was done fondly, purposefully yet quietly. The action took a few minutes to complete but time seemed to stand still. The husband smiles and jokes about her being his personal image consultant but you can see the joy in his eyes rather than any form of irritation.

I want to grow old with Mr Ho like that.

When we're old and toothless, our skins all saggy.. as long as we still have the strength in our feets, I want to hold Mr Ho's hands and slowly walk down random streets.

At this time and age, I'm aware how it's not easy to find the a suitable partner to walk down the aisle with. Sometimes the person you choose to marry may not be the one you truly love. Many people have reservations or fears or worries about marriage. Some have problems finding the "right" one.

I do know one thing - finding Mr Right does not equate to finding Mr Perfect.

If you don't learn to love the person you're with because of who they are - for all their strengths and flaws - and acknowledge what is unique about them that you'd rather give up the world than to lose him, you can never find someone cos the comparison with 'greener pastures' will never end and you'll never be satisfied.

One cannot take love for granted.

Although this might sound obscure but when you do find Mr Right, somewhere deep in your heart and mind will click and you'll know. It's a very deep sense of knowing.

I think my simple wedding vows to Mr Ho kinda says it all.
I'd like us to smile with each other when we're glad and cry with each other when we're sad.

At the end of the day, I just want Mr Ho safe. Nothing else matters more.

I once read online about a couple from the past (duno how many decades ago). Pardon me if I can't recall who they are and what I read about. What I do remember was when the husband passed away, the wife who laid by his side died several minutes later. Her heart simply stopped. Can devastation cause one's heart to just stop? It's kinda shocking but not really unthinkable. I can't imagine the horror of being left behind to survive all these alone. Everything in sight with turn into a living torture.

Random afterthought:
I suppose I'm usually quite composed but the one thing that can bring me into a mad violent rage is when people who are important to me gets threatened/bullied/etc. The mere thought of it makes me want to scratch someone's face out. muahahaha

♥♥ いつも「HAPPY」だよ ♥♥

...って、今そう言う感じをもっていますね。

失ってしまいましたと思った友達は戻返しました。

これから、私たちも一緒だよ！

いつか誰を失うことは欲しくない。

Re-charge

The best way to relax and re-charge yourself with positivity is a good night out with your best buddies.

seafood, ice kacang & muscle aches

Nothing beats having a bowl of ice kacang prepared the old school way.
We had this in Malaysia during our cycling trip to Penggerang today.

It was a 30km ride (I think) and since we're riding only to the seafood area in Penggerang, it wasn't a tough ride. I remember my Desaru trip being worse because after the seafood area, there's where hell begins. literally. the amount of up and down slopes we had to cover at the highway was madness.

We were greeted by a HUGE DOWNPOUR the moment we reached Penggerang. what a bummer!

We passed immigration and the rain became smaller. For a moment, the rain was gone and we saw signs of the sun peeking through so we let our guards down and decided to go ahead with our trip.

BAD MOVE.

5 minutes later, mad downpour again! to make things worse, one of the riders brought his toddler son along. Wonder how the little one can tahan the rain and shine but he's one quiet fellah.

We seeked cover in a shelter till the rain in over.

When the sun came out, it was hot! wilson and i slapped on lotsa sunblock.

Once again you'll see lotsa rundown houses which looks deserted but it's not. there's people living in it. roosters running amok with lotsa stray dogs occasionally appearing. we saw a whole pack of puppies with their parents. Wilson's co-worked decides to "talk" the puppies into getting back to the shade. Quite funny.

Once it reaches high tide, I was kinda shocked to see the sea water reaching to a height where you'll only see the canopy and the rest of the trees are practically submerged in seawater! My goodness. Lucky I'm on the 'dry' area.

Seafood was mind blowing. The biggest fried fish ever served on my dining table.

By 4.30pm we're ready to head back go Singapore.

As a future parent-to-be, I wonder if I'll ever bring my kid along on such a trip. it's fun IF you're kid is sporting enough. no screaming brats please. then there's the worry about the traffic and mad weather. Imagine the amount of 'standby' iteams you'll have to bring for your kid and while you're on the trip, managing your kid's temperament and your co-cyclists' patience.

Surprisingly, the dad cyclist with a kid rode pretty fast! more than i'd like to admit, half the time i don't really see him cos he is soooooo far ahead! shocking.

"Counter-pain" came to my rescue at night. wasn't having major muscle ache but I think ever since the Desaru trip, my knee and its surrounding muscles are quite screwed so it tends to feel very sore - especially during the night.

Ramen Day!

Today... is RAMEN DAY! (self-declared) WOO-HOOO!

hehehehehe

Finally made arrangements with Kelv kor to meet up for dinner tonight @ some restaurant in Robertson Quay. Not too sure where yet but mystery will be revealed later tonight! Too bad Immy not free to join us.

Hope it's a night of good food, good fun and good conversations. it's been a while since i met my friends to catch up and Wilson pointed it out to me yesterday.

"You haven't been hanging out with your friends lately"

Indeed, I haven't. It's not as if I don't have the time. Perhaps it's because others seems more busy than me. lol come to think of it, most of them are on shift work, otherwise doing over-time, and my only teh-peng kaki is now drinking teh from Shanghai instead. The only way we get to keep the communication going is online / sms. Seriously, I can't even remember the last time I had a really long phone conversation with anyone besides Terry!

I wanted to post some random ramen pic googled online but I think I'll save it for a pic of what I'm gonna eat tonight!

Recently I suggested having a group trip with a small group of close friends to Japan (hopefully Tokyo-Kyoto). The usual challenges faced in planning a trip is always finding the right date & time where everyone is available and to sort out the places we wanna go, the budget, etc etc. I REALLY want it to happen!! I mean I've been wanting to have a group trip to Japan with Immy, Kor, Aidil (& of course I'm lugging Mr Ho along) for the loooooooongest time ever and always thought it might've been some wishful thinking of mine.

Then I had a thought one day. Why wishful thinking? Things CAN happen if we put our minds to it. So I decided to ask formally. Enthusiasm is definitely aroused but since it seems far, everyone's initiative is not fueled yet but me being ME - quote & unquote Ching's usual chiding of me being a perfectionist - I'm starting to get very restless and once again jaded about the lack of initiative except from me. I think I have to stop thinking that way but I guess it's my default defense mechanism against getting hurt from disappointment. Past experiences only act to reinforce that conviction and now that it's so deeply set, it's a bit hard to eradicate.

But I've decided to take the dive and trust my friends so.. if I have to nag... I'LL NAG! and they've not seen me in my full prowess attained from work! So BEWARE... lest you initiate my nagging mechanism, I trust you guys will do your homeworks well. *smirk* Yes, it's a threat. :) I bite. Hard. It's painful. You can ask Mr Ho.

xoxo,
MW

Bonsoir~

Gave my blog yet another face lift. I like it better this time round. Neat. Clean. Sophisticated. Will add more stuff on it when I have more time.

A less inspiring blog template might be the reason why I blog less? *shrugs*

Getting married, going for our Phuket trip... now we're back in our little island. Still taking some time to get used to call him 'husband' instead of 'boyfriend' whenever I'm chatting with others. lol

Somehow everyone's fav questions to ask me are either "how's married life?" or "baby plans?".
I guess it's a normal convo starting subject but it gets boring. Is life supposed to go into a 360 degree change once you're married or issit supposed to flip upside down? I guess to some, married life can be rather exciting / requires a lot of mental or physical adjustments. Since Mr Ho & I has always been behaving very much like a married couple even before marriage, I guess it makes no diff after we sign the papers. Babies... well, babies are cute. having your own is cool but it takes a lot of committment. not saying i'm scared of having babies but i'd rather it be when we're mentally prepared and financially able to cope with having one. it's the truth because once the baby part comes along, it's quite a handful.

I still wanna travel around! :P

Now, I need to brace myself for work as another storm is brewing. Hope it passes soon and the sun will soon shine through.

update 01OCT2010:
Sun beamed through today! woohoo! I'm glad she didn't throw in the towel and managed to clear the air. *breathes easier now*

tiny me

opps. neglected my blog again. in fact, i nearly forgot it existed!

back from BKK last week. not too keen to return hah. it's too hot and the taxi drivers (except the 1 that fetched us to chinatown) are such cheats. it's disgusting.

the best i got out of the vacation? having to forget about work and relax for 5 days was pretty refreshing. best view? out from my airplane window on our way back haha! no joke. i think the plane circled around a few times as there was too much air traffic and i'm not exactly sure where we were circling above, but i saw islands surrounded by the sea with almost no sign of human population invading its green.. the view was breathtaking. not much of a wave so the sea was very very still. reflections from the sun made the sea water seem frozen in place. so i spent the longest time staring outside my plane window.

then the plane moved again and i saw a rainbow! then it moved to malaysia i think. but the land was mostly vegetation. looked like lego sets. no houses just weird plantations over a huge piece of land.

vacation after-thoughts: next time i wanna go somewhere cold.

加油，JC! | 遗憾 | 我累了

因为突然工作上出了点状况得呆在家里解决，昨天没能到机场替JC送行。

这将是我刻在心里，一辈子也无法抹去的遗憾之一。

我不善于用言语表达。
越是对我重要的事，越是无法用言语以对。
只能默默的以行动上来呈现。

今年...我目送了JH，HG，JC 离开。

虽然依旧能保持联络，不过已不能像以前一样天天混在一起。
不能否认，这对我的工作心态有着很大的影响。
即使我天天很努力的鼓起勇气去迎接新的一天，但总是力不从心。
我企图以开朗乐观的心情去面对一切，但铁人也终于累了。
孤军作战很累。
好累。

昨天为了工作而烦，忙，慌... 我折腾了一整天。
从我被电话“吓醒”的那一刻，就一直在电脑面前忙。
手机片刻都没闲着。不停地麻烦到愿意（虽然很勉强）帮我的人们...
我内心很愧疚。虽然大伙儿都说不是我的错，我就是很习惯自责的一个人。
唯一庆幸的事，我并不是孤军作战。大家都很努力的一心想把事情解决好。
人总得往好处想不然我会疯掉。内心很感谢这群体贴的人。
我明白他人若愿意帮你，这并不是他们因该的，而是我的福分。
对于那些对我施与好意的人们，我得心藏感恩。

到了将近凌晨...终于一切都解决完了。终于...我也能够松口气了。

但我的身体出了状况。

因为紧张了一整天，身心没办法松懈下来。
我... 跟妈妈要了颗镇定剂。

阿威也因为见到我在同一个下午内经历了无数次的崩溃而感到心疼和不知所措。
因为内心很慌，我开始喃喃自语，发呆，冒冷汗，跟个疯婆子没两样。
这一面的我很脆弱所以不常展现出来。

为了让我找回好心情，我们去看了午夜场。
我们看了阿牛的《初恋红豆冰》。
这部片子意外的好看也很好笑。
虽然也有比较感伤的情节不过并不会让人感到不舒服。
我也情不自禁的笑了。

战战兢兢的一天就那么过了。

希望明天会更好。

好累

如果能不顾一切打包行李然后直接搭飞机出国来逃离这里那该有多好。

without a care in this world

i just wanna run home right now and stay home and not come out.
i wanna run home without a care in this world or for this world.
i wanna immerse myself in my own bubble where all sights and sounds are kept out.

i want to stop feeling.

in the multiples of four

trouble doesn't come singly & it's true as it came to me in the multiples of four.

one. bridal shop mgr called and we had to negotiate terms on phone. wasn't a nasty convo but it jolts the memory of the frustration i've felt because of the recent cock-up.

two. speedpost screwed up and did not send my package to the post office, wasting my time and effort to make a trip down + the fact i had to wait. they didn't even record my request when i called last saturday morn. whichever customer service officer picked up my call and promised me the delivery will be ready on tuesday, "Fuck You!" *points middle finger*

three. wanted to eat beef noodles but the shop ran out of noodles. there's only rice left. how ironic. beef noodles without noodles. "NO MEE!... (continual yakking)....kindergarten..." I heard the SAME freaking convo/story from the young female stall helper over and over again. she repeats the same thing to everybody in sight in a very auntie manner. noisy. can't eat in peace. fuck you too.

four. egg shells in my char kway teow. i HATE biting on eggshells! makes my body feel weird and damn irritated. no wonder it was prepared within split second.

how describe how pissed i was having encountered all four things almost simultaneously. i probably didn't behave very well at the post office which was unusual of me.

the auntie was not helpful when i complained that i've put in a request and told her to check with speedpost for me. i had to call them & wait forever on the line while the stupid music plays in the background and tells me the operators are busy at the moment. then i found out they didn't not put in my request at all and i had to RE-request for a RE-delivery and had to wait till FRIDAY. i nearly screamed on the phone. why was the package sent to the central post office in payar lebar? HELLO? i stay marine parade leh. failed delivery how come send to payar lebar? stupid issit?

"ok. so the person who picked up my call screwed up right?"

didn't anticipate myself every saying something like that to anyone directly. must be pissed out of my mind already.

rainy days

raining alot lately. somehow a good time for listening to emo korean songs. :)

愛我...就給我你的"全部"

Gu: Hammie hammie!

*fish out suspicious white pouch*

Gu: 給你的! (Give you one!)

Me: 甚麼!? 我不要! (WHAT!? DUN WAN!)

Gu: 給你的! 你要看! (Give you one! You must see!)

.
.
.
.
.
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LOL

prawn fishing

went to Heidi's first mth bday celebration just now. managed to pass Ranna the present and was about to settle down to grab some food and the sms came.

lost my appetite after that.

went back to work after that even though it's a saturday.

found out what went wrong and settled it with SPTL. heng the supervisor on shift is a nice guy.

luckily both JC and gu are around to accompany me too.

it started raining when we were at Ranna's chalet so when we went to get our bike to go to my office, gu forgot to bring along my helmet (left at the chalet) so he had to walk back. i waited @ the shelter but he took 15 mins to go back n forth and by the time he returned, he was all drenched. nonetheless, he was still giving me his smiles and stood by me when i was feeling down. "through thick & thin", he said. my gu is still the best.

anyway, problem arose because of an unfortunate technical glitch, or so to speak. it was nobody's intention to have this happen although i wouldn't say it's a huge prob. but anyway, it got settled so that's that. didn't want to think about it anymore. so what if i got it sorted out? thankless job. sometimes i wonder why i put in so much effort. JC ask me not to blame myself cos not my fault/problem but i can't help it. i always blame myself first whether or not it's my prob.

anyway,
then i went prawn fishing with my colleagues; Kerry & James, JC & Chai Yee, & my gu. James' friend (forgot the name) joined us later. it's my first time trying out prawn fishing and we went to this rather ulu place in pasir ris but surprisingly (to me la), there's quite a lot of people. it's pretty relaxing to fish for prawns cos ur mind is solely focused on the yellow float which tells me whether i've got a prawn on my line. caught 2 big ones and one female one. then... got played by the same prawn 5 times. stupid thing bit my bait several times but escaped each time. SHIT. it's fun because of the crowd i'm with and it's fun to watch people getting excited with their catch. James' friend is pretty enthu too. came with a box of fish hooks and stuff. he could've been our audio guy if not because of his "over-experience" which is kinda ironic. he gave me some advice but still... the prawns are getting away from me!!! RARRR!! he managed to catch one after he took over my fishing rod lah.


waaaaait & wait & wait...


finally!!

this night activity took a load off my mind and my attention was all on the prawns.

we left at about 2+AM in the morning. fished for 2.5hrs (or a little more).

was nearly sabo-ed to bring back the prawns but heng we didn't if not my mom will fry me.

anyway, it's fun. wouldn't mind go prawn fishing again next time. :)

lionel is online (facebook) while i'm writing this entry. we're now sharing our "prawn fishing" experience. it'll be fun to hang out with my cousins to fish for prawns too. he 'onz' me liao but duno when it'll happen cos we all don't have car. =_=" hah.

bridesmaid cards

Guess i'm really good in keeping things under wraps hehehe.

i've been planning for the past month on doing a bridesmaid card for my ladies (inspired by Once Wed) and have been working on it ever since. i DID procrastinate on it for quite awhile but alas, i've gotten it done!

first and foremost, OF COS it can't possibly be a direct replica of what you see on the net. customisation is always needed to make it special. like i've said, i'm inspired by the idea but that's as far as it goes!

found a nice poem from another template website and thought it's pretty cool.

apart from making a card just to satisfy my itchy crafty fingers to diy something or ANYTHING (finding excuses for myself), i wonder what was the point of me doing these cards & why.

then i've realised & decided why.

1) momento that's one of a kind
2) to show how thankful i am
3) i bet they'll be surprised!

i visited POPULAR bookstore and stood at the cards section for ages. good thing i've decided not to bring wilson along or he would've been bored waiting for me to take my pick (as usual!).

since the bridesmaid dresses are gonna be champagne gold in colour, it's an obvious pick for my paper colour.

the $2 cutting board & $2 craft knife from DAISO came in handy.

i was slowly preparing the paper cutouts over the past few weeks - it took me quite a while since i had to make four sets of everything.

i used photoshop to design the look for the cards. worked on it for a few hours and finally, i finalised on something and found good fonts to go with it.

these are test prints. ink smeared a little as the inkjet don't work too well on uneven paper surfaces. i switched to a smoother paper surface later and the result was great.

preview of that paper-cut outs. as you can see, hairstyles are designed to resemble the ladies themselves. i scribbed their names on each of their own cut-outs.

packaging it for the final look. there's not mistake in identifying which card is meant for who cos it's specially made for YOU!

a personal belief: details must be perfected to even the very last bit. the name and address is the first thing ANYONE sees when they receive a letter. if you wanna do a job, u gotta do it right. took me 20 minutes to scribble on the envelopes as i tried to replicate the font used in the cards. then again, using the SAME font for everything is a bit of an over-kill so i kept to a simpler handwriting for the addresses.

煩

現在內心里的煩躁快憋得我喘不過氣
為人子女就不能我行我素嗎?
自我意願和理當該有的"孝心"讓我左右為難
總而言之...就是煩。

被自己的心情左右的我也很懊惱
早上起來原本好好的,干嘛非得來壞我事!!!

post-photography emotions

anticipation. worry. stress. regret.

post-photography thoughts

seems like 3 out of 4 of the emotions i'm feeling are a little more towards the negative realm but i guess that's expected since i'm such a pessimist.

anticipation is self-explanatory. i haven't seen the result of my pre-wedding photoshoot. wilson & i have arranged an appointment with Sattine to view our photos on the 26th of March. I expected a later date but since they are so efficient about it, that's good too.

worry is self-explanatory too since i worry about the how the pictures will turn out. will it be what i like? because when i dislike something, especially photos, it can be quite lethal. i wasn't too fond of the final hairstyle i had for my outdoor shoot. the hair is fine but the fringe is set too high. i felt.. a little old in it. the only positive thing i can think about it was the fact that i sweat like mad for my outdoor shoot, the backcombed fringe was a blessing in disguise. imagine having my fringe stuck to my forehead. the two of us ran out of ideas for poses & i must admit, due to the lack of experience with photoshoots, we weren't very relaxed about it and as much as we asked for less "pose-y" shots, we posed alot (not looking @ the camera of course). i think my photographer quite poor thing. supposed to be us 'free-styling' end up he had to keep directing us two goondus.

"wilson, look @ ur wife!"
"maria, look outside window pls!"
"like that fake liao!!"

i think the classic line i keep hearing is "like that fake liao!!" spoken in chinese with a bit of a malaysian accent. but i'm grateful for that line because it was meant to 'warn' us that we're becoming too pose-y so that we can adjust our behaviour accordingly.

can't believe how much i sweat once we went outdoors & it wasn't extremely hot or something. i just kept sweating profusely. luckily mom made me bring a hand towel. it was super useful & caked with my make-up @ the end of the shoot.

i must pray very hard that our pictures turn out great.

i wanted a more relaxed, hanging out kinda shots but i guess that didn't happen. with the gowns, the mood is a little weird.

and one very important thing i failed to realise till on the day itself. MUSIC PLAYED ON SET IS VERY IMPORTANT. it sets the mood and i prefered a light-hearted cheerful mood and the 'classic love song' kinda music usually makes me more sleepy than anything else. i should've brought my own CD. damnit!!!!!!!!

my photographer did show me a few photos lah. and those he showed me were not bad. wilson said that he was shown more pictures while i was changing into my gowns. he liked the photos but i tend to be much more demanding when it comes to photos so... very hard to discern based on his feedback also. sigh.

stress...... is linked to all of the above.

as for regrets.... alot la. the fringe lo. never bring my own music lo. we too stiff lo. never do enough 'homework' on how to strike poses lo. never ask wilson everyday train how to pose lo so end up i keep threatening to scratch his face when he tried kissing me again (he kissed me like a thousand times). imagine all the photos are kissing ones. crazy meh!?

i think that only thing sustaining me and made my day was wilson's breathless look and gasp that escaped his mouth when i changed into my march-in wedding day gown. that was the only time i ever got such a reaction from him (very drama) and he kept telling me how pretty i looked. I guess a woman must AT LEAST manage a "breathless gasp" once in her lifetime from her husband - especially in wedding gown!!

unexpected incidents

when we were out at Alexander Park, the first location for our outdoor shoot, towards the end of our shoot it actually started to drizzle. very light drizzle but a drizzle nonetheless. we made our quick escape into the car and drove to the next destination. in the car i was wondering whether we would be able to continue with the photoshoot since our next location is the sand playground at Labrador Park. strange enough, the drizzle stopped and hardly had any impact because the ground wasn't even wet.

SO...what's so "unexpected" about this?

well... the impact of the drizzle... was not on the ground.. but the SKIES! It had a marbled hue of orange turning into greyish blue.

so for silhouette shots by the SEA, the result was pretty awesome. my photographer showed me one picture.

we managed a pose with my amigurumi cows too! saw the pictures & it looked damn cute.

at the end of it all

my bridal package offers me a selection of 40 photos, 28 pages. i need to 'strategically' plan my selection man!!! i realised just 1 outdoor gown i've had a sunflower/alexander park shoot, playground/labrador park shoot, maze/labrador park shoot, sea/amigurumi/labrador park shoot... that's 4!!!

too much to think. brain pain.

worries

i am suddenly plagued with negative worries about my wedding and how it'll turn out. to admit truthfully, it is not exactly what i want but a situation of what i can manage out of our tight budget as well as...well, we live in Singapore. Having said so, it means I don't live or have access to some countryside with picturesque view (imagine a starry night!) or a cute barn or whatever.

everything cost money. sigh.

love the letterpressed wedding invitations from Bella Figura but expensive.
love the cosy warm kinda wedding but have too many people i wanna include.
i also don't have a whole team of people on standby to help decorate/prepare things because everyone needs to work and i'm the only crafty one in the family.

I wanted to DIY as much as I could but there's a limit to what I can do and with almost 300 guests (would've been 250 if not for some circumstances...), i can't get myself too carried away ie. DIY wedding favors, or it's like killing myself with all the workload. But i DID manage to finish DIY-ing my guestbooks (1st one was fantastic! 2nd one.. well.. freak accidents do happen). Then I DIY-ed my personal wedding dolls which turned out fantastic.

Now i'm fretting over other stuff like bridesmaid accessories, my ladies are still scouting for their dresses, my dinner table centre-pieces, the settings, invitation cards (whether the hotel's one gonna look like shit..), ROM function room decor, wedding montage... (shit i forgot abt the montage)... good gracious. i think i'm better at this when i'm helping others to plan than planning for myself.

once i sat down infront of my pc many moons ago and started typing out the names of the people i wanna invite to my wedding... i kinda got a shock. didn't realise i have that many friends & each of them are special to me in some way of another & to think that i'm not even extending my invitations to people who's not close to me.

i wanted a very opaque light pastel colour, clean whitish sorta feel but somehow... i don't think that's how it's gonna turn out because now that i think about it, my ballroom is quite.... warm glowing in colour setting.

i think i'm just freaking myself out.

my wedding bands are up for collection tomorrow afternoon. i'm very nervous. like i've said, we were willing to spend a little more than what we initially preferred for a pair of customised ring. we love our idea and has not regretted our choices ever since even though we occasionally walked into other jewellery stores to take a look but it only made us feel reassured about our decision. however, my ring is very simple so unlike eternity rings or half eternity rings where blings would outline the ring's surface, my single 0.03 bling is kept inside. same goes for wilson's ring.

my pre-wedding shoot is on monday i feel like a nervous wreck. there's still some minor adjustments to my dresses (and now i'm starting to wonder if i have too many of them) and although my coordinator assures me that all is in good hands and monday when i arrive, everything will be ready... not having worn the FINAL FINAL version makes my blood pressure rise a little & IF... just IF anything is less than perfect on Monday... i think i'll turn into a full-fledge Bridezilla.

we've chatted with our pre-wedding photographer, Yean, & my make-up artist, Jessie.

They are really nice people and Yean seems to think on the same page as us in terms of how we would prefer our styles for photo-taking to be. i obviously can see how he has alot of his 'principles' on how things should be and what kind of attitude a photographer should hold. in fact everything he says is what i can agree with and they are like 'model answers'. I would love to trust him explicitly but... well, i'm just being me. unless they earn my trust (means after i use their services), it's very hard for me to be too trusting because the greater the trust makes the fall harder to bear.

argh. i need tranquilizers.

parents-woes

sometimes.... my parents drive me insane.
sometimes.... it's infuriating to witness quarrels where you CLEARLY know it could be resolved if only they could've chosen to look at the solution TOGETHER and not dwelve at the problem. seriously, it takes two hands to clap. it irritates the crap out of me to know how an issue could be easily solved IF ONLY both parties were willing to be a bit more considerate/sensitive towards each other, think not just for themselves but also also to consider the issue by putting themselves into the shoes of their partner. alot could be understood and solved amicably. but more than often, many choose not to do so and it irritates the hell out of me cos i can't stand such things. to me, it's plain stupid. it's frustrating cos i know what could've been done to solve the prob but thing is, I'M NOT THE ONE INVOLVED! it's these.. 'other people'. and seeing how they are not doing things right when they could and somehow cleverly choose to plunge deeper and deeper into the black hole while digging each others' hearts out.. geez.

feeling healthy

i was out on my jogging regiment with wilson last night.
managed to escape twice but this time i can't escape no more. bleh

and so i brought along my new ipod nano (wilson gimme! muahaha) of which i stored with all my japanese songs to purge my mind from "evil tots" to give up halfway thro my jog.

we're all geared up and we went jogging and with my new knowledge on how to 'breathe' correctly, i'm seriously SERIOUSLY surprised with the result. previously i kinda screwed up and got tired out really fast because: i wasn't able to regulate my breathing properly, i wasn't jogging in the correct way, my knee came up too high, wilson was running off at a faster pace sending me off in a panic attack to catch up.....yea. so plenty of problems previously. but now they've been corrected and things turned out PERFECT! WOO!

i more than just doubled the distance i covered in my previous jog and i was able to complete a thro n fro trail wilson planned out for me! and i managed to surprise him more and he was giving me plenty of raised eyebrow and thumbs-up but i was either too busy 'regulating my breath' (when jogging back) or 'catching my breath' (finishing the jog) so i practically ignored him for a good 10 minutes even after we completed the jog. LOL

he kept making me drink 100 plus though.

so i feel a great sense of achievement having worked my lazy ass.

one more surprise is that my thigh muscles didn't ache.
previously, i felt like a granny who couldn't bend her knees enough to get down the steps properly. it was horrible.

so hopefully i can keep up with routine of jogging every Wednesday and Sunday night. take the chance to lose some fats, keep fit, build up good metabolism and trim/tone my thighs.

i realise i've got a smaller butt now. my ass is disappearing.

was 'examining' my arms last night with wilson. been doing mini push-ups on a dailiy basis for more than a month now. i can actually see the results now? like more toned, visible muscles, slimmer (surprise surprise)! my abs are showing up as well. so i guess it feels very rewarding to exercise regularly and keep fit.

not sure if it's enough to make me wanna turn into a exercise buff but for a start, i like the 'results'. heh

realise how exercise is really, on a fairly large part, linked to 'mind-over-body'? tests your determination and perserverance. not easy to be disciplined enough to continue. not easy to be disciplined enough to not indulge in food. sigh.

bagels

damn. caught myself eating toasted bagels with thick creamy cheese spread. how indulgent. how sinful.

now that's extra 5 crunches per set for tonight's workout.

*continues chewing on bagel*

time for thanks

after having read through Ranna's blog, i realised i hardly blogged about my wedding preparations until recently.

i'm probably too quiet about it. disclosing this matter only to a selected few.

but while i was chatting with iman i realised something very important.
i think i'm seriously blessed.

why so?

because of all the help and advices i get from those around me and miraculously, the 'right' information somehow finds it way into my lap whenever i need it or when i'm at my wit's end. as always, looking at the bright side of things make me more appreciative of the help i receive and disregard the troubles i've encountered.

choosing a hotel venue, choosing a bridal package, researching online, scouring thro the forum for reviews was a pain in the ass. i hate bargaining yet this was what i needed to do to make sure everything goes well for our wedding.

i don't accept compromising anything for my wedding.

having said so doesn't mean i want everything to be the BEST. it only meant that i will not settle for anything less than what my heart tells me i should get. if i don't feel right, i shouldn't allow myself to accept it. instead, i have to steel myself to walk away to look for alternative. in fact, by doing so, i usually end up with better deals. :)

Hotel



i fell in love with Holiday Inn's Crystal ballroom when i attended Jamesy's wedding 2 years ago. 2 years later the moment i step back in, i fell in love with it all over again and in my heart i've already decided, i want this location to be our wedding venue. i've probably secretly made that decision when i first stepped into the ballroom 2 years ago.

lucky for us there was a pre-renovation promotion going on at that time and the timing couldn't be any better for us! i was near devastation when i was told that the dates we wanted weren't available but somehow lady luck took pity on us and gave us a glimpse of hope. one of the couple have not confirmed their banquet and by paying for the deposit before them, we managed to get the date we wanted! great news.

Bridal shop
finding the right bridal shop was a pain in the ass. lucky for me i had Immy back just in time for her holidays and she could accompany me around. it wasn't easy to find the right shop and many left me with a bad feeling. something always didn't feel right. either the gowns weren't right, or the package is too .. disadvantageous or even outrageous, or the photography sucked. i remember telling one of the lady that the only prob i have with their shop is i don't like the work of their designer. surprisingly enough i realised how one of my secondary school classmate has become a designer for bridal gowns.

wilson have been very nice to accompany me whenever he could or to discuss with me about our wedding preparations whenever he could. men usually can't be bothered so i can't say he is full of zeal to find out alot, at least he wasn't slacking lol.

Wedding Bands
With Lijun's introduction, we found Fairy's Inc and Sandra, the lady who served us, was very professional and helpful. We felt great there and like their services and their designs (of course) so eventually, we decided to have our wedding bands custom-made there. Made several trips down to their shop for discussion but yesterday, we've finally gone for the final round of ring fitting and decided on our engravings. i was upset over some font type stuff but anyway, that has been settled. i can't wait till march to see our completed rings!

Amigurumi cows
kudos to Ranna for the idea and i'm glad finished crocheting the two amigurumi cow of our cow tales!!!! now we're in the midst of preparing their accessories and photoshoot and stuff. i will hold on to the details for now and updates will be revealed later. :D

Music selection
this will be magical of course hehehe cos CL and I have something unusual up our sleeves. not your typical wedding love songs of course.

upcoming headaches
- i still have a photo montage to create.
- trial make up to go for
- buy bridal heels
- my pre-wedding photoshoot!!!
- booking for a JP; i called mrs chia. she say it's still too early but she'll take note of my date.
- e-file notice of marriage online; have to wait til june
- finalise guest list (more or less finalised)
- food tasting
- buy guo da li stuff.
- settle my bridesmaids' dresses/bestmen's suits
- vet thro emcees' scripts
- prepare my own script

wah lau.
sian.

daily musings: mom & dad